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World News

Rudolph Rescued - From Zoo!

Rudolph, Santa's legendary reindeer team leader, has been rescued after spending most of 2005 in the San Diego Zoo with amnesia.
Rudolph disappeared on December 1, 2004 while returning to the North Pole during a blizzard. He was part of the testing team for the Snowbell 5000X sleigh system, created by North Pole Design Services. Rudolph vanished when he and apprentice reindeer Windstorm flew home for help after the team was forced to land for repairs in Alaska.
The Elf Rescue Squad searched for the missing reindeer but was unable to locate him. Authorities reluctantly called off the search after a few weeks, but Rudolph's family refused to give up. Blitzen, who guest hosted the Frosty Night Show during the winter, regularly announced Rudolph's details during the show to aid the search. "There has been some bad blood between the old reindeer families," explained the superstar, with unexpected candor. "We need to put the past behind us and find our friend. Rudolph is out there, somewhere." Even with the extensive media coverage, however, Rudolph's fate remained a mystery.
Emma Sparkle, a former Christmasville resident, finally discovered Rudolph when she took visiting relatives to the San Diego Zoo. Ms. Sparkle moved to San Diego two years ago to attend the Hahn School of Nursing following the bitter divorce from her husband, Jack Frost. She said, "Rudolph was in their new reindeer exhibit. I hardly recognized him because his nose was dark and one of his antlers was damaged. It was only when my sister said, ‘Doesn't he look like Santa's missing reindeer?' when I let myself believe it. He sure looked banged up though."

George Jungle, head zoo keeper, explained, "We had no idea. Rudolph arrived in February with two other reindeer shipped from Canada. He was not well when he came to us, but our expert veterinary staff nursed him back to health. Apparently he had more than just a broken leg, a split antler, and a bruised face." Indeed, Rudolph was suffering from amnesia.
Rudolph's family physician, Dr. Ed Hoof, examined Rudolph as soon as the Elf Rescue Squad transported him back to Christmasville. Dr. Hoof said, "Rudolph appears to have been injured in a crash landing in the mountains. It's a miracle he's alive. He's starting to recover his memory, now that he's back home, but he won't be up for flying for a while. And I'm afraid we're not sure if his nose will ever light again."
"We knew he was alive," said Hermy Dent, spokesperson for the family. "It's such a relief for everyone that he's safe and home. He had a pretty harrowing time in the mountains."
Details of the accident remain sketchy and will have to wait until Rudolph is ready to tell his own story. He is recovering at The Bell Institute for Reindeer Health, where he is likely to have an extended stay. He was unavailable for interviewing.
Santa's reindeer team make-up changed following Rudolph's disappearance last year. This year's team will consist of Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Rudolph's son Lightning, and new addition Windstorm who will be replacing Donner. Donner is returning to retirement after filling in for his missing son last season. Prancer will continue in his leadership role, which he picked up following Rudolph's disappearance.

Olive the Other Reindeer makes it big in new music career

Tinsel Time Tops Charts

Olive the Other Reindeer struck gold with her first single, Tinsel Time, released in November after she sang the song on the Frosty Night Show. Her debut song rocketed to the top of the pop charts in its first week, where it has remained for a month.
"I've been writing songs for years," said Olive. "Just for fun. I never thought to send anything to a record company, until Frosty invited me to sing on his show." Frosty and Olive became friends after appearing on Celebrity Fear Factor in 2002.
Simon Cowell of American Idol had this to say: "Olive displayed a rare, natural talent you rarely see in this industry. I hope Tinsel Time is more than a one-hit-wonder."
In fact, Olive has signed a record contract and is completing her first album, expected out by Easter.

National

Katrina Disrupts Tooth Fairy Service

Tooth Fairy Service was suspended this summer in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Children across the nation were startled to discover that their baby teeth were not being collected and replaced with coins in the normal fashion during the weeks following the late August storm.
One child, Clara Stahlbaum, said, "My tooth was still under the pillow in the morning. I asked Mommy, why didn't the Tooth Fairy come? And then the kids at school said she wasn't real, and I was stupid." Little Clara started to cry.

In fact, the Tooth Fairy is real. Her company, based in New Orleans, visits millions of children each year. However, flooding from Katrina damaged the center of operations.
The Tooth Fairy explained, "We lost everything, all of our records. I had no choice but to suspend the service until we could recover the lost data." Santa's research team provided assistance, since they keep records of every child for Santa's famous list.
The Tooth Fairy Service resumed normal operations in October. Clara Stahlbaum was delighted by a personal visit from the Tooth Fairy when she lost another tooth.

©2005 Christy Devonport. All rights reserved.

This newsletter is a work of fiction and is meant as a parody. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.