Cookie Chronicles by Christy Devonport
December 2008
Volume 13.1
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World News

Santa's Workshop Bailout

Economic downturn hits north pole metropolis

Situated in isolation at the North Pole, Christmasville's economy normally operates in a steady state. However, the worldwide economic crisis of 2008 has even invaded Santa's Workshop.
Last week, Santa's Workshop announced a new round of layoffs, bringing the total workforce reduction to 25% for 2008. Two previous rounds of layoffs occurred during the fall.
North Pole Mayor Blitzen announced emergency measures would be taken to rescue the biggest employer in town. "We're going to provide a 50 million krone (USA $30 million) bailout for the workshop. It's small potatoes compared to the massive stimulus packages they're applying in America, but it's the best we can do. It's critical for us to stabilize the situation."
Santa has organized a leadership committee of elves and reindeer. Prancer, who currently leads Santa's sleigh team, said, "We're trying to figure out the best way to spend these funds to make sure our operation keeps running smoothly through the holiday season."
"Gift requests are way down this season," said Eva Bright, Head of Elf Resources. "Usually we have to staff up to keep up with demand, but this year our factory is running well below capacity. Initially we tried to cut hours by offering unpaid vacation, but eventually we had to let elves go."
Mrs. Claus has even organized a charity to help unemployed elves and reindeer. "It breaks my heart to see so many friends struggling," said Mrs. Claus. "The situation truly took us by surprise, but I have high hopes that next year will be better for everyone."
Fitzroy Bell, a newly unemployed elf who used to work in the Bicycle Department, said, "We don't need charity. We need creative action. The bailout helps the big workshop. What does it do for the rest of us? That's why I'm forming an organization to rebuild our town's infrastructure using the latest green technology. Let's put elves back to work. We'll renovate our bridges, repair our roads, and even upgrade our network services. It'll be an investment in hope and a better, solid future."

Workshop Profile

Dot McTrixie is Santa's Official Letter Collector. "Every year we gets hundreds of thousands of letters and emails, which we catalog. The makeup is typically 50% requests for toys, 50% for fantasy wishes like wanting a million dollars or baby siblings. Here is a sampling of the more unusual ones..."
"Dear Kris Kringle, My daddy said not to ask for a lot of expensive junk like last year. I'm only allowed to have one small present this year. Please can I have my own Mac Pro with two quad-core processors? I won't ask for anything else. Kenny, age 8."
"Dear Santa, Please let me win another Superbowl before my brother. Eli, age 27."
"Dear Mr. Claus, Can you help me sell my SUV? Alexis, age 34."
"Dear Mrs. Claus, Can you ask Santa to get me my own Porsche GT3 Coupe? I'd like it to be Speed Yellow. I want to go really fast. Colby, age 3."

Celebrity News

Cupid Jr. switches arrows for marriage and diapers


It has just come out that Cupid Jr. secretly married Discordia in Scotland last winter. The couple kept the secret for almost nine months, until Discordia gave birth to a healthy baby girl this November.
The only family member who knew about the romance before the wedding was his sister, Delight.
"I helped them keep it secret for six months before the wedding," Delight explained. "Can you imagine how they would have been hounded by the media? They made such an unusual combination. We're talking stranger than Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra."

Chance Meeting

How did Cupid, one of the world's most eligible bachelors, hook up with the incarnation of Strife? The two rarely crossed paths.
Discordia, a career woman, spent 2007 shuttling between Iraq, Islamabad, and the Gaza Strip.
Cupid, an eternal playboy, dallied in Hollywood and New York City. The immortal with the strange sense of humor shot arrows at Lindsay Lohan, Kirsten Dunst, Matthew Perry, and Jude Law, inspiring a multitude of relationships.
As it turns out, the two Olympians are rabid Harry Potter fans. They met in line at a New York bookstore, waiting all night to buy the last book in the series when it debuted in 2007.

Wedding Bells

"They arranged the wedding with two days' notice," said Dionysus, a close friend of the Cupid family. "Cupid's parents barely had time to get there."

Cupid Jr. took over matchmaking duties from his father several years ago. Cupid Sr. and Psyche, Cupid's mother, now live a secluded life in a cottage on Mount Olympus, tending a vineyard.
Psyche said, "We were completely stunned. But it's true love. I can't be upset about them marrying. I went through enough to win Cupid to know the real thing."

New Arrival

"Cupid and Discordia keep their work separate from home life," said Delight. "They even named their baby Balance. They want to give her a normal upbringing. When she grows up she can decide for herself whether to follow her parents in their work, or find her own niche on Olympus."

Community Calendar

January 16th, 2009

Reindeer After-Sleigh Party

February 12th, 2009

Christmasville Pancake Breakfast

March 19th, 2009

Santa's Toy Expo

April 10th, 2009

Sleigh Team Tryouts

May 7th, 2009

Penguin Polar Picnic

June 9th, 2009

Summer Sparkle Semi-Formal

July 15th, 2009

Claus' Karaoke Marathon


August 17th, 2009

Naughty and Nice Flea Market

September 8th, 2009

Elf Football Playoffs

October 8th, 2009

North Pole Oktoberfest

November 5th, 2009

Rudolph's Reindeer Races

December 13th, 2008

Christmasville Candy Cane Cook-off

The Frosty Night Show

With Frosty the Snowman
Weeknights at 11:30