December 2019, Volume 20.1

Toy Making Continues in Spite of Dust

Workshop Renovation Woes

Christmas Deliveries Escape Interruption

Santa’s workshop renovation enters its eleventh month, with key changes still incomplete as toy building and packaging efforts resumed for the holiday season.

“The main floor is pretty much complete,” said Hans Candle, chief of the Elves Guild, “but we had to move several departments out into temporary quarters to get ready for Christmas.”

The gift wrapping department and new electronics workshop were still under construction through the holiday season. Several toymakers were moved to the Elf Community Center.

“We’re not impressed,” complained Alice Winterberry, president of the Elf Events Club. “There is glitter dust everywhere, and the relocations had a domino effect across the entire Christmas Village. When they moved toy shop crews into our Community Center, we had no place for our normal seasonal activities, like the Elf Christmas Party and the Snowman Hat Exchange. We had to hunt for new venues, and it was a real scramble!”

Santa Claus offered his home for entertaining some of the smaller parties. Mrs. Claus said, “We’re happy to help out, since Kris and I felt partly to blame for requesting the renovation. Thankfully, most of the elves were very understanding. We’ve all known the workshop needed a major overhaul for several years now, and it was time.”

The architectural plans for the workshop upgrade were developed in 2018. Demolition started on schedule in February 2019, with the finish expected in September 2019. However, no one predicted the difficulties in renovating a four hundred year old structure.

“We had to gut and completely rebuild the underlying structure in the east wing,” explained Abe Hammer, the head of Construction, Operations, Communications, Organization, and Architecture, or COCOA, the premier building firm in Christmas Village. “Our engineers had to redesign the support beams to hold more weight.” The changes added at least four months to the project. Hammer said, “But this sort of thing is normal in a project this complicated. It’ll be done by March.”

“Oh sure, the project is difficult,” said Cherry Sparkle, head of Workshop Logistics. “But initially, the construction team kept saying it would only be a couple more weeks. Now we’re looking at months! At the rate they’re going, it’ll still be a dust zone next Christmas! And we’re not talking glitter dust!”

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Interview with Flynn Hollyberry

By Frank N. Sense and Rob Myrrh, technical correspondents for The Christmas Village Express

FS: Today we’re talking to Flynn Hollyberry, head of STAR, Santa’s Technical Action Rescuers. Can you tell use how STAR began?

FH: STAR came about after the second world war. My grandfather, Aloisius Hollyberry, enjoyed tinkering with electronics and other new inventions during a time when Santa’s workshop only made very traditional toys. Everyone thought he was a crazy, like Hermey who started Christmas Village Dentistry.

RM: What changed for him?

FH: A man in London managed to capture Santa on film coming out of a fireplace to deliver toys. It revealed one of Santa’s trade secrets.

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FS: What happened?

FH: Santa knew he’d been compromised. As soon as he got home from his Christmas travels, he called an emergency council. Elf Security was already practiced in rescuing Santa from difficult situations, but no one knew what to do about film evidence.

RM: And that’s when your grandfather stepped in?

FH: Exactly! He lead a team into London to stop that film from being shared. They stole the film and replaced it with a blank reel. We still have the original in our archive and show it occasionally at the annual Elf New Year’s Party, like a blooper reel! To this day, we continue to come up with new ways to stop people from using their hidden babysitter cams and other tricks to catch Santa in the act. We’ll never let them succeed!


© 1996-2022 Christy Devonport. All rights reserved. These newsletters are a work of fiction and are meant as parodies for family and friend enjoyment. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.