Frost On Tour
Glitter and the Ice Wars
Frosty No Longer Out in the Cold
Frosty the Snowman has had his Glitter account restored, following his one year suspension from the social media platform. He was one of the most well known users to be banned and now to recover his account since Bugs Bunny bought Glitter in October 2022 for $24 billion. Bunny promised to reform the social media company, which has been embroiled in social media censorship accusations since the pandemic. Bugs Bunny has a reputation for changing the game by breaking the rules, and his recent acquisition of Glitter is no different. Since taking the company private, he has spent the passing months revealing the inner workings of shadow banning, outright censorship, and secret favoritism.
In an exclusive interview with Cookie Chronicle’s own Max Twinkle, Frosty said, “I’m gratefully to Bugs [Bunny] for restoring my account. I should never have been banned in the first place!”
Glitter, the social media favored by celebrities, media personalities, authors, musicians, and all of their fans, started as service for messaging, blogging, and sharing music and video clips called “flashes.” It grew in popularity from its start in 2006. Everyone loved Glitter in its heyday because it gave a wide variety of famous and not so famous people a chance to showcase their talents and interact with fans. For a time, it became an even playing field, and enabling some hidden talents to rise to fame.
However, in more recent years, Glitter started suspending users for a wide variety of reasons including poking fun at certain mainstream celebrities. People started calling the censorship controversies the Ice Wars.
Frosty’s account was locked following a series of Ice War posts between him and Olaf, friend of Elsa of Arendelle. It culminated when Olaf proclaimed in a flash: “I’m proud to be a snowman. Snowmen can’t melt! We’re forever, even in summer!” Frosty flashed back: “I guess things are different in Arendelle, but for the rest of the world, snowmen melt when it gets warm. Even magical snowmen! We can only come back thanks to magical Christmas snow, created by the hope of the season.” After that post, Frosty’s account went dark with the notice: “This account is permanently suspended.”
Jack Frost said, “Frosty is evil for saying that. He hurt Olaf’s feelings!”
“You know, it’s ironic,” said Frosty, following his account restoration, “but I never actually missed Glitter after I got banned. I thought I needed it, but people still came to see my shows and wrote me nice letters and emails. Most normal people don’t even look at Glitter anymore. There are a lot of great alternatives out there.”
Bugs Bunny agreed. “What’s up with that, doc? Bad behavior on Glitter almost destroyed its entire business model. I want to transform it back into a great place to discover new artists. Next week we’re reviewing many more wrongly suspended accounts, and I’d like to announce that we’re lifting the suspension on Blitzen tomorrow! It’s time to have a permanent truce from the Ice Wars.”
Ghostbusters Save Santa’s Workshop
The famed Ghostbusters of New York City had to make a special trip to the North Pole this November to help de-ghost Santa’s Workshop. The shop was being harassed by Black Boots and Hopscotch Charlie, ghosts of elves who died in the 1700s. The spirits were accidentally awakened when minor renovations disturbed a time capsule in the corner of the workshop during the spring.
The hauntings were initially minor nuisances, but by the fall, the ghost-elf brothers were sabotaging toys during assembly and sliming the conveyor belts, causing problems for the elves getting ready for Christmas.
“We called the Ghostbusters,” said Santa Claus. “It was just the nick of time! On the day the Ghostbusters arrived, Boots and Charlie had just turned every cookie in our bakery into little monsters.”
Mrs. Claus added, “It was total havoc! The possessed cookies were running amok, chasing the elves and tearing up wrapped packages. It could have been a Christmas disaster!”
“We’d rather serve up a Christmas miracle,” said Ray Stantz of the recently reestablished ghostbusting team. “And we didn’t even have to cross the streams to save the world this time!”
